♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Tuesday, July 20, 2010, 9:10 PM
It'd been long since I last blogged. Quick update today.I've started my full time job with conrad for 2 weeks already. Getting rather tired. And due to the long hour stay in the kitchen, I've been going out dinner with collegues then home. Because of this, I feel as though I'm kind of losing friends. I don't get to meet up with my ex-schoolmates, ex-collegues as often. Sometimes, even off days, I still meet up with them. And so, bonding with workplace collegues are stronger.
Now that bond's strong, I see the 2 sided face, so clearly. Of different people. I don't wish to comment on anything. Since saying anything is useless. I've seen the before and after of a human change which one would not see if you're consistently next to the person.
It's a disappointment for me to see such a drastic change in a human. From the better to the average. The disappointment doesn't motivate to work as hard for the person I used to be motivated by. Instead, those disappointment and a little of regret for staying, makes me work like shit. Frankly speaking, now I know why people always tell me, don't stay, don't go, for the people. Human does change. Even in this very short of 4 months. The drastic change.
And whatever I've done, I never seems good enough. Mistakes are unforgiven. I was pissed, seriously. Since it's so that I've gone back, they wouldn't want me to do this, don't want me to do that. Fine, I don't do, then later you guys again are the one who said I'm ain't of any help. Then what's the difference of me being there and not there? Am I right to say that?
There's so much I wish to complain and complain about work. I could easily find someone to pour my anger and fustrations on. But what for I do so, it's all the aftermath of the decision I've made. I should not regret the decision I've made, but just get done with. There's nothing else I could say, but just to say, 'sorry chef'.
Seriously, this life sucks.
I've got so much to say, but yet, I can't voice out.
I'm wishing for a drink and humph.