♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
Eightteen
Shatec Institutes
Diploma in Culinary Skills
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Wednesday, March 31, 2010, 10:15 PM
This is real bad. I swear.I know my feelings now for ernest. Fine with it.
But why why, still. When I meet hiccups and I'm not feeling good, I still miss clarence?! Feeling not so good, went to his facebook. I miss chatting with him so so much out of the sudden. Like, when I'm bored or what, definately will be chatting with him de. But now? I just rot infront of facebook. No more topics with him.
I MISS MY FRIEND! :(
Saturday, March 20, 2010, 12:24 AM
过了一个星期，前后走了几遍。我开始累了。我不想再主动。
觉得好累好累，你能让我休息一下下吗？
林家毅，主动点好不好？不要再退后了！
有‘算了’的感觉。
日子好难过喔。
Friday, March 19, 2010, 12:02 AM
我不知道要这么说才对。你发生了什么事。为什么感觉好像，你走了一步，我前进一步，你就退一步。我退一步，你前进一步。我再次前进，你又再退后。你在搞什么啊？！ 让我感到好软喔！
要就要，不要就干脆不要前进，不要让我有哪么一点点地希望。希望时常都会成为失望。
林家毅呀！ 你把我弄得团团转，我好晕，头好同啊。
-如果有一天，我不在了，你的感觉如何？
-我要走了，你有什么话要对我说？
-你喜欢宠物吗？
-你喜欢什么类型的女生？
-会不会有机会当个比普通朋友再多点的朋友呢？
-在你眼里，我是个镇杨的女生？
-你有过几个女朋友？
家毅呀！
你这个样子，真叫我如何是好。
伤脑精啊！
Wednesday, March 17, 2010, 11:35 PM
For the first time, I did something so...Think about for quite sometime, wanted to get him herbal tea, cos I know he is real tired. End up, that 2 days I off, never buy. Yesterday went to find, that 7-11 never sell. Today went cheers to buy, carry all the way until workplace. Asked melody to pass it to him.
I don't know if he drank. But the can was open, don't know if he finished. Whatever it is, I buy give him, it's his.
I thought he didn't know who gave it to him. Because he see me also never mention anything about it. Then I sms him lor, ask him if he know who gave it to him. Then he thank me. I'm not asking for a thankyou. Just truely wish he knows that I care. Told him to take care, he thanks me again, and said 'you too'. It's all courtesy, I can tell.
But one thing, I felt really good about was, even he know, at work also won't like paiseh paiseh, after work, walk side by side also like not paiseh, still chit chat. He doesn't avoid.
I like to disturb him, cos he looks cute when he is 'irritated'. HAHA! :D
Things work out? I don't know. See him already. hehe.
Monday, March 15, 2010, 11:26 AM
I find myself real useless.Not a single time, when I can get hold of myself and be strong.
Everytime I fall for someone, very soon, I'll fall so deeply till it seems obsessive. And make every single effort, trying for hard, to get close to him. Yes, I'm previously hurt. Not now. This time round is kind of a happy one, still in good terms. However, I think I wasn't confident enough, kept asking melody for help. Till he abit didn't quite like it. I realise he doesn't answer my questions whenever I mention about melody. Okay, I won't involve melody in between us anymore. To what I realised through all the thoughts I had these few days, no one is hurting me. Is just that I'm too harsh on myself.
When's the next time we can go out together again? I like to have you around though. The smile that you always put on your face, never fails to chase away my moody feelings. Your blushed face, makes me wanna smile.
It feels like I'm going abit over.
You're the first guy, who offered to send me home, yet I rejected.
I'm glad I rejected, thus you could have more time to rest. I regretted, becasue I don't know when you'll offer again. :(
Sunday, March 14, 2010, 10:44 PM
才一天不见，我有点想念你的存在。我会不会太粘你了？
小弟弟！
虽然你比我大，但我喜欢叫你小弟弟。
感觉已确认了。可是我不知道该这么做。
应为我也没谈过恋爱，我不知道如何去关爱一个人。
小弟弟， 我希望你能主动。
I reegreted. Not letting you send me back the other day.
I don't know when I'll get the next chance. :(
7:03 AM
I've got many many random questions up in my head.I wished to ask, but I doubt I dare to.
And maybe it might not be time yet.
-What is the food/drink you dislike most?
-Have you dated any girls before?
-If ever one day, I take my leave, what would you say to me?
-Who am I to you? Just friends or chances of being more than a friend.
-What was your immediate feeling/thought when that cup of coffee reaches your hand?
-What kind of a girl am I to you?
-What type of girls do you like?
-Why do I find you blushing at times.
-How can I get to know you better?
-Do you find me irritating/annoying cos of all the sms-es?
There's far more in my brain. I'm tired to think.
I'll now sms him today, it's my off day. Shall see if he sms. Obviously, I hope he does.
Friday, March 12, 2010, 11:43 PM
Sigh.Left cold kitchen less than a week. Had been working from morning to night, almost everyday for the past 4 months. think only seen 1 month's sun out of the 4 months. haha. I know I had been working from morning to night. And I always kena from morning 5am or 6am shift then i work till 9+ 10. I know i was tired then, but i just felt restless, I didn't care much about my health, instead i neglected it.
But now, perhaps due to special feelings. He had been working from morning 6am till 10+ just now. Tomorrow again working 6am, sounds familiar. But I felt heartpain though. Like wth, how can someone work so long hours. I didn't I thought of that when I was the victim?
I feel kind of guilty. He offered me to longbang his cab back home. He wanted to send me home. He waited for me at smoking area despite the fact that I already told him I will bus home myself. I told him that expressway can straightaway go woodlands, don't mafan drop me at amk. I know la, quite on the way la, just a short turn about. But I don't want him to send me back, he already so tired, somemore tomorrow work 6am. Somemore he haven't bathe.
Aiyo.
Today buy coffee for him. Because he helped me buy the knife guard, don't want to collect money from me. So bought him coffee. I paiseh to pass him ah, so I asked melody to pass him. I ask her just give him, don't need say anything one, he will know. Then sms him just now, ask him if anyone ask him who buy. Because joshua kpo one. Everytime others got coffee, he don't have. He told me lor, they did ask, but he nv say. haha.
Hmm... I do notice that he blushes as and when. :)
hehe.
Monday, March 8, 2010, 10:25 PM
我好像喜欢上一个人了。