♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Monday, November 30, 2009, 11:25 AM
Can choose to ignore this post. I just need to blog my heart out.You may think that I'm unreasonable. Getting angry with you for nothing. You're innocent. It's just a birthday wish I didn't get, and I can get angry for so long. This is because, I care. You don't care, but I do. A simple wish, could have made me fly to the moon. But now, I fall from the sky.
People say you must have been tired that you've forgotten. Facebook have reminders. And even till today, I didn't get what I was waiting for. I'm petty, you can say, I won't mind.
Then I thought you forgotten about today. At least you bothered to msg me telling me you can't make it. Thank you, the answer is clear, you're not even keen in going out. Please stop misleading me. You always make it sounds like you want a meet up. But every time, meet up would fail, or you would be late. I'm nobody to you, you don't bloody give a damn about me.
What were you trying to show me, don't say a person I admire, just a friend since 2003, doesn't even wish me for birthday? I know my birthday not a big deal lah. Then there he goes, he'll break what he said the other time of buying me something I want when I turned 21. He can't remember the date of my 18th birthday, would he remember the date of 21st? I doubt so.
Utter disappointment, making me tearing apart.. :'(
2:39 AM
I think I'm going crazy! He's not sms-ing me about anything. Not even regarding if we're meeting up tomorrow. Tomorrow if he calls me or sms me, I would say I won't be meeting him, I'm having a hang over. FUCK IT!I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
Why does it have to hurt so badly? :'( It's just me, not even about him. But it really does hurts, even though he's just the innocent partie. :((
*edited*
She's such a pretty beauty.
She's gorgeous.
I envy her so much.
Simply because, she gets what I don't.
I can't see myself anywhere close,
to where this gorgeous beauty is standing.
I'm still staying online. For don't know whatever fucking reason. My heart doesn't seems to get me to sleep. He's still online. But I blocked him. I don't know what I'm doing.
1:25 AM
Just came back from pubbing then clubbing. I didn't know clubbing was so fun!I tried lychee mojito for a start at the pub. Then we went zirca (is this how you spell) for clubbing. Cos it was gay night, so we wanted to see how it was like. Then I had free admission, because I was the birthday girl:) But I don't get free drink luhs. Then they all ordered their first drink, grace ordered for me flaming lambourghini. It's quite nice though!:) Didn't really have much effect on me. Just that after that they ordered the one for on redbull vodka. I think I drank almost 3/4 to a jug of it. Kamz keep making me drink. Then they order tequila shots for me. Then i say we buy another two shots, i pay $20 the rest they pay. Then 3 of us drink.
Was a little seh lah, nt very still can walk, still awake, just vision lags. Then before we go off, pass by the dance floor. They pulled me up to dance, just go up and move lor. Don't know how to shake, anyhow move. haha! Fun!
I want to go again!
It really felt when I was there, I cannot think of any other unhappiness. It felt as though I was on drugs. But when I came home.
I'm all emo again. I waited for 24 hours, even to the last second. I even checked my phone when I was in the club.. This is just how much I want that sms.
I came home, I came online. He's online, I know it I appear online, he would wish me. I just don't want to. He had forgotten. Forget it. He doesn't even bothers to sms me about tomorrow. I'll put aeroplane then.
I even told grace, I don't want to get drunk, cos I don't want to get hangover, because, I might be meeting him tomorrow. And all I got was : forgotten.
:'(
Sunday, November 8, 2009, 8:28 PM
It seems as though we've drifted apart. It seems like I can't rely on you for my problems like how i used to be.I miss the old times.