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Pamela Lim
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Sunday, April 18, 2010, 10:36 PM
What's the problem that lies within?Have I been too tired or what? Why last time I work long hours in cold kitchen, I forever can go on and on. But no longer that stamina when I'm up at main kitchen. Why is that so? Could it be the environment that main kitchen is hot and cold kitchen is cold, hence the saving of energy in cold kitchen is more? I got no idea.
And due to my tiredness last night, I had a very good dream this morning. It is always the case that I don't get to sleep more, I have good dreams. When I get to sleep in, I don't have wonderful dreams. Or perhaps, I was just desperate.
I dreamt that I was brought to this frog (tian ji) farm by this guy - who's my bf in the dream. I didn't know where he was bringing me to. Till I entered a cage-like place, big one, maybe like bird park. There where those ugly disguisting frogs jumping all around. Some where jumping near my legs, some attempted to jump on my back. *by then, my handphone alarms are ringing like crazy* I flew up at my bf in the dream. I was dead mad, because people would know how much I detest those frog. I don't even eat frog leg, despite the fact that I've tried them and they were good. But I just don't eat. Then we where out of that place.
We were in this convinent store that looks like 7-11. He told me he wanted to eat something, trying to 'sa jiao' to me, because he wants me to eat together with him or something like that. So I bought it. As usual, after pay money, we choose the smaller piece (I always do that in real life), he fought with me, but he still got it. In the dream, I saw him kissing my forehead. Heard him saying 'ily'. Felt his body, held his hands.
Then when we finish eating going wait for cab. I saw ernest with a guy and a girl. The girl got into a cab alone. Then he and his friend continued to walk down the road. Then while me and the guy, was gonna kiss, I woke up with my phone ringing.
This guy has almost the same height as me. Maybe slightly taller. Medium in built, not say skinny, got abit muscles one.
Back to life. Everytime I dream of a bf in my dreams, I'll nv be able to see his face. But only able to hear and feel him. Hear someone speaks, but no idea who is it, and the voice can't be regconised.
Maybe I'm just too desperate.
I used to tell myself that I don't need a man to live. I don't want to get married. I just have to love myself.
But now, I yearned to be loved. A man for my to rely on. I want to have a family. I want to love my husband and my kids.
That's growing up.