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Pamela Lim
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Friday, April 2, 2010, 10:30 PM
It has been so so long since I had the mood to do a proper update. All updates were rather random, or when I needed something off my mind.Well, yet another month had passed. It's so fast, that it seems as though I hadn't had the chance to capture any of the moments in march and it's gone already! How can time pass so fast? Very soon, another 13 weeks, and I'm graduating! Very fast right?! It's like seeing the light at the end of a year long tunnel. I'm glad I'm seeing that spark, I'm getting close.
In another blink of eyes, I would be out, to see the world.
So much things went on during my internship. My friends are drifting away from me, because I've got no time for meet-ups. As well as gaining some real good friends from work. That's my network. It's broadening. Next time how? How to get so much time for so many people?
Oh well, time would says it all.
I had been saying I want to be a good girl. I want to quit drinking, quit clubbing. Though I had not been a rather regular clubber. Everytime I go, is socially. This time I can't reject, I've tried, but yet I've got no reason to reject. Because I owe them the favor.
I've not been home for dinner. My mum nagged at me, ask me why not come home for dinner, then save money. Don't have to keep complaining no money. This month I spend really alot. I eat on my own expenses this month. I buy my own toiletries. I top-up my own ez-link card. I shop with my own money too. What's there else for me to save?
It's simple for me to save. I can just come home after work for dinner. Then I need not pay a single cent for that meal.
Who seen the effort I've put in? Cooked at home, but once dinner is over, one goes out, one goes to sleep. I'm left to face the computer, the stupid television and the four bloody white walls. What for? What's the point of me coming back to a house and not a home. The lost of personal touch.
I hate to see my family being screwed up. It might be by me this time. I've put in effort, it's not working. I give up. I don't want to be a good girl anymore.
I rather go out, and find someone who can love me for who I am, even with my rebellious character, my stubborn personality. Love me, or leave me. I can no longer be bothered.
Work, family said. For the sake of the people like wanying, though I only have 3 people allowed into my blog. Here it's what all it came about with the guy, Ernest.
I didn't like this guy at all when he first worked with me, because he is simpily new. He didn't know his basics, teach yet couldn't get it. He pissed me off, during my busy time. I can screw him in the kitchen.
However, during my last week in cold kitchen, I worked real close with him. Because I have to do a proper handover. And then, because of some stupid function we had to run it together. So we got kind of close. Work together, go lunch together, work together, dinner together, chit chat as we work, take breaks, go punch casual labour together. Brings 2 big 1litre bottles into canteen and filled it up with coke together. Just one week. I got so used to doing all this things, speaking nonsense, disturbing him. Then off I went up to main kitchen already.
Then starts to contact him through sms. He helped me buy thing, but don't want take money from me, despite how much i tried to push to him. (YY pushed the money and insist him in taking, he took. however much I tried to push, he refuses.) Then I buy coffee for him lor. Then got once, I worked afternoon, he ended same time as me. He's tired then he waited for me at smoking area say ask me lobang his cab back. I know he's tired, so I bluffed him go back on his own. Then he walked me go opposite then he came back to take cab again. -.-'''
Few times went out dinner/supper with the presence of others. Once took cab with him and YY. YY go home first then my place then he's the last. The next time was only me and him. How sweet, he remembered that my place that route, needs to make a U-turn. I'm surprised.
Then do stupid things like sending gifts through fb restaurant city. He gave me roses in RC. Well, although it's just an exchange of gifts, but out of a million things in RC, he gave me roses! Small things as such make me crazy. I'm naiive.
I doubt my friends would ever sees me treating a guy like any of my close friends. such as when he sick, buy liang teh. When I cook, I share. I wait for someone just to take train with me. I randomly text, and disturb. I do all these with my close friends. But never done it to a guy. He's the first who can make me so comfortable.
I don't know what would happen in the near future, if the flower bears any fruits. Let nature takes it's course.
Doesn't really matter. Not bad afterall if I can have such a guy friend.
He's a nice guy la. He also don't seems to be like running away from me or whatsoever. So, yea. Still okay. I sounds as though I'm crazily in love. The way I talk and describe. When I describe and talks about it, I sound like a crazy fellow. But trust me la, I don't dare go into it too much too. See, after 6 years, I get those shits. You think I still dare to go that far. No way.
Long Long update that I should have long blogged about. It covers everything from past few months. For those I never mention much, was because I'm working. No one would wanna hear me grumble about work as well. Now I'm busy learning inddian cuisine. My chef tomorrow last day already! SAD!
I think I'm a vixen lehs. Last time CCA groups, whichever I join, closes down. Now wherever I go, the chef leaves. That time cold kitchen, bernard leave, now indian chef. HAIYO!
For the 3 readers on my blog. If you have another connection of people who works in kitchen and know if they've got lobang for garde manger in a good hotel, intro me.
I wanna find a job to start in August/ September.
That's all! I need to go sleep. Working 7am tomorrow.