♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Wednesday, April 28, 2010, 11:01 PM
Heart's feeling a little heavy. In an hour time, it's someone's birthday. Oh well, I've gotten over, but just what's making my heart feel heavy? 18 years old, 19 years old.
Entering the next phase of life I guess. This 2 years, thoughts of giving up my career life keeps churning in my mind. Kept having thoughts of getting just a job and not a career. Then sometime soon, just find a man and settle down and be a homemaker. Now, I envy homemakers.
Or perhaps, climbing up for a career is not easy, as for what I see for myself in the workforce now. I'm in the box now, experiencing everything in it. No longer viewing what's going on in the box. Life's different. Things are different now, hence the quote, saying is easier than action. Totally agreed.
Yes, I have the thoughts of giving up this career I'm heading towards. But I wouldn't, my determination tells me so. I believe I can have both a career and a family, that's when I've learnt how to organise. Let me climb in my career.
Though now is like not I choosing guy, but more like guys to choose me and that I've got no choice. However, even if the whole forest catches fire, leaving only one tree, I could still live without it. I could have my choice too.
My guy have to accept me for who I am. Respect me for my career mind. I would give in at times when there's a need to, to maintain the relationship. But if I would to be busy and have to time off, he needs to understand.
A guy who's in the same line as me would understand? I doubt that my soulmate would be in the same nature of work as me. Simple reason behind, I'm always strong in my stand, and many other chefs would be. So how do we go about with a rock banging on a rock? And I'm that kind of person, when comes to work, I'm quite domineering.
I want a guy, whom I can take care, and he could also care for me. In other words, he needs to be my pillar in life. He needs to be one. Because, he'll be the one I rely on, to motivate myself to work, to move on in life, to have hopes and faith in life.
Insearch of my pillar in life.