♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Friday, October 16, 2009, 10:37 PM
Tomorrow would be the day back to reality already. 3 days of leave were so shiok. Don't have to work, don't have to see people face. Then go back work 2 days, I going butchery already.I love the times I don't have to work.
It's funny to say that I feels pressurised at work, yet no one had been giving me pressure. People there always tell me, nevermind, take your time to train yourself, to learn. That gives me more stress. Because I know, I don't have much time, I need to pick things up fast. So how, given this situation, it's me or it's collegues?
As much as I hate to say, I'm the one making myself dreadful of work. I'm the one who make life seems so sucky to me. I expect myself to learn things fast, do things accurately, do things with quality. That's me. But I never expect that I, being so unrealistic, giving myself such expectation is too high. Because I know, if I say this time, it's ok la the quality not there, won't have next time. The next time I do something wrong, I simply repeat this answer.
Why ain't I doing things even up to my own expectations? I know, there is other people out there with even higher expectations. But why I can't even reach my own? Was it too high or what? I don't think it's high, it's just a basic suvival expectation of myself. An expectation through life.
Come on Pamela. Learn like how you should be. Stop acting blur. Do things fast, fast, fast! FAST, ACCURATE, QUALITY, QUANTITY! That's all I need!
ANOTHER 36 weeks, fight it till the end!