♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009, 10:01 PM
know
Sometimes I wish you knows, yet sometimes i wish you don't. But by the day you know, i would hope you don't. Now that you don't know, I wish you know. But weather you know or don't, I don't know. Then if I know, how would you know that i know that you know?Okay. It's kinda confusing. But these words had been on my mind.
Monday, October 19, 2009, 6:49 PM
Waiting at amkhub nw for mum.I've got alot to say for these few days. I'll blog more when i get home.
Using hp to blog is so cooollll~ whahaha
Friday, October 16, 2009, 10:37 PM
Tomorrow would be the day back to reality already. 3 days of leave were so shiok. Don't have to work, don't have to see people face. Then go back work 2 days, I going butchery already.I love the times I don't have to work.
It's funny to say that I feels pressurised at work, yet no one had been giving me pressure. People there always tell me, nevermind, take your time to train yourself, to learn. That gives me more stress. Because I know, I don't have much time, I need to pick things up fast. So how, given this situation, it's me or it's collegues?
As much as I hate to say, I'm the one making myself dreadful of work. I'm the one who make life seems so sucky to me. I expect myself to learn things fast, do things accurately, do things with quality. That's me. But I never expect that I, being so unrealistic, giving myself such expectation is too high. Because I know, if I say this time, it's ok la the quality not there, won't have next time. The next time I do something wrong, I simply repeat this answer.
Why ain't I doing things even up to my own expectations? I know, there is other people out there with even higher expectations. But why I can't even reach my own? Was it too high or what? I don't think it's high, it's just a basic suvival expectation of myself. An expectation through life.
Come on Pamela. Learn like how you should be. Stop acting blur. Do things fast, fast, fast! FAST, ACCURATE, QUALITY, QUANTITY! That's all I need!
ANOTHER 36 weeks, fight it till the end!
Monday, October 12, 2009, 11:42 AM
Pain
Can you not, update me with your life with such informations?I hate it. Simply because I can feel the pain from you.
You've been through up and down during this whole period of this girl. I've seen the happiest side of you, being able to truely laugh your heart out, acting as though a child who just ate his first ice-cream. I've seen how hard you smack yourself in your own face, saying how much a bastard you are. I've not seen these visually, but through your words, through your sms.
When you were happy, I were happy for you too. But it hurts so much, when I hear you scolding yourself. Isolating yourself at home to emo. It all started with me, for telling you how much hatred I had for man. And the term 'Man are bastards' came up between us. So common now, that you keep saying you're a bastard.
Why the hell did I came up with those words, that you end up using it on someone I love?
This sucks -seriously.
Pain.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009, 7:13 PM
Growing up
Is it part of growing up, that now, I wish I have a boyfriend?Last time, I would say things such as I don't want to get married, I don't want to have family. But now that I've been reading young mummy's blog. They made me want to have a child of my own- they are damn good at this man. And of course, not any of those with the useless chap by their side. I want someone who can commit - though I'm not sure if I can.
I want someone resposible.
Well, collegues at work was trying to help me match make lor. But I just smile smile.
As much as I hate bastards, however I believe out of 1000bastards I can find 1 that suits me. Oh well. Fate.