♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009, 1:14 AM
Shall blog alittle, to help abit for destressing.Yes, I was so stressed up today(monday).
Because there will be 2 test tomorrow(tues), and I've yet to study nuts of both subject. What's best? I've got to work 6pm to 10pm. What's the BEST out of the BEST? I didn't bring either one of my manuals with me, since I was rushing out of home this morning.
Fine, came back, read through. Tried writing down notes, but it seems useless, because I was blindly copying and that nothing's going into my brain. So I switch to reading mode again. Tries to recall whatever I HEARD in class. Those I didn't manage to catch in class, I've just got to use my "logical" brain to link it to whatever I think I can that would make sense. Somehow it did help a little lah. Better than nothing.
Then I continued with the other subject. SIBEI HENG. This subject, most of the time I listen in class. Somemore that heavy chapter, I got lesson for 2 times. Fucking heng can. So I read through alittle.
Tomorrow then continue studying in the morning and during lunch break again. Since in any other way, there's nothing else can go into my brain now. And that I had a total of 3 shots of espresso in my drinks just now. I had a double shot ice vanilla latte, then a cup of ice coffee. But I'm still tired. :(
I'm really lacking of sleep and rest. I feel as though I collapsing already. But every moment of that thought, would bring the image of joyous and happiness that I would be experiencing this june, at chalet to celebrate Nas's birthday. I'm getting excited all over it- and that is what that is keeping me going.
Sis got angry with me just now. Knowing that I'm having test tomorrow and I'm working. And I've yet to study. She told me not to worry about money, she'll sponser me. I told her, her side is also tight hence I don't want to trouble her further. She ask me not to bother about her side. But seriously, though I'm still studying, I need to learn how to be independent already. I need to support myself sooner or later. Why not let me try doing it now?
Just so many people are against the idea of me working part-time and studying at the same time. I know you guys are concern for my health etc. But how many of you actually knows, that I enjoy what I'm doing at work? I really love this career. It's just the physical part.
And you're no longer the person, I kept thinking of. The feeling had faded. And I swear it have. I no longer believe there will be a day of chance. I no longer see you and me, only you or me. Thank you to work and studies, that made me realise, I just ain't for you. I swear that you're no longer the one I think, I miss, I like. You're just a friend with benefits in the near future.