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Pamela Lim
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Sunday, May 31, 2009, 11:27 PM
My unique life
I would say I live an almost extraordinary life. Perhaps, everyone lives life differently from one another.Journey started since the day I had a dream, which i currently can't remeber how many donkey years ago was it. My dad left us, which I wasn't very much affected by it then, since I was still so young. I'm affected only when I was in Secondary 3. When things somehow got haywired, financial crisis. But still sustainable.
My first job was when I was in Secondary 3, going secondary 4 that time. Year end. Mum agreed, to let me go out for some experience. Hence I took up a free-lance promoter job. Then I know, how crude humans can be, when it comes to business and money.
Following job is one of the job I enjoyed so far. Though yes, tiring, kinda fucked up. But yes, the job is lovable. Winner Insurance Agencies Pte Ltd. Besides providing me a place to learn and grow, it brought me friendships too. (:
Then I got into Shatec, my first step to pursuing my dream. Yes, Shatec is fucked up. But I'm just getting to be done with. No need to make noise with them, since it doesn't work.
Working part-time and studying full time. Now I know, what's tired, what's stress.
I can't believe that I'm this tired. I can sacrifice my time to extend my working hours, even though the working place is kinda fucked up too. But what I'm staying on is the kinda of job I'm handling. I love preparing those food. Seeing them served to the guest's table. That kind of satisfactions. Repeating what I've been saying - Although coffee club food ain't fully produced by the staffs at the outlet.
I wish I can live a 'normal' life, just like any one of you out there. Working for the money. Earn money, get through life, enjoy life. But I know, I need to be somebody someday. I want to proof it to people whom looked down on me- mainly my dad. I want to show, who I can be, even without him by myside. I want to do my mum and sis proud. I need to be somebody someday.
Many people would have said that, if you've a goal in life, it makes things easier for you. Guiding you. But how many of you know, because not many people have goal in life, having a goal in life in fact can be tiring. Just because you know what you have to do to get what you want, you wouldn't stop trying. During these tries, you face failures, you face setbacks. And such 'keep tryings' gets rather tiring. The kind of 'give up' feeling, is just so near, so near. I swear, I almost gave up.
Now that I know, my goal is so clear. Despite the tiredness, I work for it. Because I know, I'm not doing it for money, I'm doing it for myself, and my family. I know all these ups and downs through the years is making me a stronger person.
I know, I'll be somebody someday somewhere. I know, I'm not the only one feeling this way. But how many of you are feeling this tired, for your childhood dream? The kind of satisfied feeling, yet the kind of stress, the 'pek chek', the unique and undescribable feeling, I believe, not many of you feels this way, unless you've really tried it.
Remember my words - do it for yourself and your beloved ones.
Don't tell me you can understand my feelings, if you're just doing for your beloved ones, not yourself. Tell me people, how many of you, really love what you're doing as a career now, to the extend you feel sick also die die must go?
Love what you do.
Love yourself.
Love your life.
Is the KEY to lead a extraordinary life.
Now I know, what my ex-boss meant all those while, of loving you job. Thanks boss.
I no longer wants someone next to me all the time. If there's a chance of the right one coming by, then I'll take the chance. However, if it's fated forever no one is coming, then leave it. I can live with my career, my hobby. I wouldn't mind, to be an old chef, with winkled face, winkled skin. I fear marriage/relationship. But I would go through them, with my career, my hobby, with no fear at all. I conquer this fear with all my might, in this career marriage.
:) An ordinary human leading an extraordinary life.