♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Sunday, May 24, 2009, 12:52 AM
Am I the problem?
Why?Subsequently for two days, things keep cropping up? Why is that so?
After the incident with that bastard in class - yes I know i should stop harping on it, today again, kena suan siao at work.
Anw, I got more to add on to yesterday.
He's might be older, but not wiser, more experience, but don't forget, we're at the same par, same level. He's no one of a higher rank to speak to me like this. He's seriously no one. So the more I should stop bothering about this person- and I mean it. By age, yes he is older, but who is he? just classmate, not even my senior. Tell you, if he younger than me, but senior in rank of work, he wanna scold me fuck me till i die, I'm fine with it. But this idiot here, is NOBODY.
Today at work. Got this irritating guy currently at harbourfront. He used to be at holland v. Frankly speaking, I had been enjoying working with people there (maybe one or two I don't like but still ok with them). Till he came in. He talks real BIG, as though he is I don't know - too much until I don't have a word to describe him. He spiderman the people there. And everytime we meet, he tries to test me on my knowledge on f&b. Ehs, hello? If I know everything, I wouldn't be in shatec and needs to go on attachment this july already.
When I started working, I was quiet. Of cause la, I do work first ma, then got time then chit chat lah, that is if there's a subject to talk about. Then he say why I so quiet, why I don't talk. When people don't talk to you, of cause there's something wrong already, correct not? Then he asked further, you at home also so quiet ah. Can't this guy just Shut The Fuck Up? He's really annoying.
Then I heard him telling Fei, 'everytime work with Francis alot people come in one, busy. But don't know why when she work, no customer.' Hello? If that's the case, go tell Chef Raymond that I bring BADLUCK to Hfc lah! Talk so big for what?! He also not management, why care wether the company hits their sales target not. He is just a small pea in coffee club. Bastard, remember this, NO PARTICULAR STAFF IS TO BLAME WHEN THE BUSINESS IS DOWN, WE WORK AS A TEAM, SO IT'S EVERYONES' PROBLEM AND NOT ONLY MINE. If you really want to care so much - my method of doing things, the kind of luck I bring to the establishment, the kind of knowledge I have, go be my boss. Then come and control me. But I can tell you, You'll never be.
Does the problem really lies with me?
Just because I usually keeps quiet, I gets bullied this way. Letting people treat me as punching bag? Let people suan siao me? If I voice out, people also say, I keep quiet people also say. So what I do I have to do? I'm already controlling myself, of when to talk when to shut up. But still, why do people have so many comments on me. Am I really the problem?
My soul, my self, seems to be lost in the woods again. I thought I've picked up my self-confidence again. But these little stuffs, seems to be crashing on me, again and again. The subconsious protection seems defenseless. Where did all the power gone to? Answer me, god.
& where's my fish & chips?