♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Saturday, April 18, 2009, 11:58 PM
I'll go straight to the point today, no beating round the bush.I may not be the only one being hurt in this situation. In fact, everyone is injured mentally somehow. Pening this down, would remind me of a lesson learnt, on how to treat people.
From the very start of school, we were all rather close. And because of my character, trying to put a face infront of them, caused an unnecessary conflict. During that period of time, she confronted me. Thinking that I'm the bad man, who talks bad about her to her dearest boyfriend, which eventually link it to their quarrel. I didn't talked bad about her to her dearest boyfriend, is the boyfriend's friends did. What she said to me the other time, I can never forget. She told me that if I want to be her friend, she's okay with it. If I don't wish to, there isn't a need to back talk her.
I really wish I could use back these words on her. Simply following her instruction, and there isn't a need to continue the friendship anymore. But if I were ever to do so, would just reflect on how childish a person I am. So, I'm not gonna do that. I should handle the situation properly, and more maturely.
That was the 1st incident.
After a few months, I've accepted the girls again, and vice versa. As all of us would have known, she and her dearest boyfriend's relationship, is on rocky stone. As usual, quarrel, fight, shout. One fine day, she quarreled with him again, he slapped her with a book. She came up crying. We can't take the fact that a guy actually hits a girl, so we reported to our mentor. She blamed us for doing so. We were all pissed, and decided to heck care already.
So as we thought it had all ended. We stopped talking to her for a period of time. Only as and when if there's a need to talk, we'll talk.
I was transferred to harbourfront, during the 3 months of training. She's there, so of cos, a little closer to her, since I see her almost everyday. Treating her rather well during that 1 month period. Well, I would say like normal friend, taking care of one another, not to the extent of good friends yet.
Back to school. After 2 weeks, things stirred up again, for the third time.
She was on and off with the boyfriend- nothing's new. And like what I would have described, we were treated like pads. During the regular of redness comes, she have a fight with him, she will need to use us. She does not use us for that long as compared to menses, trust me. We were used 1 day, then we will be on standby in her bag already.
Her boyfriend came to confront the boyfriend of one of the girls. Trying to pass the message over to the rest of us. Things stirred up really much. She actually told him that we ignored her, except 2 people- one sits next to her every class, the other is our 'mafia'. I was one of them who ignored her, as she claims. If there isn't anything to talk, then want me talk what? If I suddenly go tell her jokes, she would be unhappy with me, i know it too well.
Fine with that. The day before I went back to work. People asked me, if I'm still talking to her. On the day itself when things stirred up, chef called, asking me the same question. She's quite close to this two people who asked me the same question. Yes, I suspect she backstabbed me. But I chose not to confront her, about anything. So what if she really did tell them, there's nothing I can do either. I'll just take it as though is casually asking about friends.
The boyfriend actually wants us to bring her back into our clique. Knowingly my personality, I wouldn't accept her any further. But I'm giving myself sometime. I'm not saying that I would forgive her, because there's nothing to forgive.
Take it or leave it. I'm just gonna treat her as a normal person, probably like a collegue. I talk only if there's a need. Or else, I wouldn't talk to her much. I can't bring myself to chit chat and care for her as much as the past.
She gave me 3 scars, each one got deeper. Those cuts really hurts.
I'm sorry, I'm not eligible for being your friend. Please leave me alone.