♥ Numb Escape ♥
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Pamela Lim
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 8:17 PM
I'm feeling so damn bored today.Had my POC test just now. I whacked the paper like nobody's business.
I see question, I just whack.
For the following, I'll be blogging about what's in my mind. Nothing happens, and I'm feeling alright. So no worries.
I had been thinking. Is clarence just a crush of mine. Or is it those type whereby I really fell for him already. Though friendship had been 5 years, I don't seems to know him yet. Simone told me that I'm the only one that can answer this question. But I'm confuse over it.. Many would have asked me, what is it about this guy that you like? He is eccentric, etc. And also when I tell my other guy friends, they said they hate this type of guy. I myself don't know, what is it that I like about him. As what I know, I sub-consciously fell for him, I didn't know when I started to have that feeling. This guy is different. I understand that he is more femine. I can admit that I abit impatient already. Afterall, waited for quite sometime already.2years? 3 years? around there bahs, I myself don't know.
Yar lar hor, I'll just wait and see how it goes. I wish to know what's in his mind sia. Somehow, I really wish to know. I wonder if he knows how i think. 'cos I read on seventeen(magazine), there's this guy who said, 'if you girl like a guy, tell him or show through actions, don't hint. Guys are bad at catching hint.' I think my showing is quite obvious, just don't know if he sees it or not. But yet, I don't like to take other guys words into advice, he is different from them. AIYA, I DON'T KNOW LAR. Stupid ehs, I like him, yet waiting for him to return feeling and make a move. WTF! Don't care lar. Wait wait wait...
Told mum how I feel about sis's situation. Told her what I told her and what's her reaction. I told mum I don't care already. Since my sis reaction is, 'Outsiders can only comment, can't control her.' So I told her she's only a outsider of my life, ask her don't care about me. Fine ar, sister now also outsider, mother also outsider. Is like WTF! I've done my part, I've told her about my sixth sense. And she knows very well, my sixth sense quite accurate. If let's say, anything happen to her, she get hurt by that guy, I won't go find that guy. I won't stand up for her. Because, I've already warn her, she doesn't take it, then let it be. I don't wish to bother. She grow up already, she have her life. Since she already say, there's nothing I can do, then I don't see the point I care anymore.
I feel empty these days. It's like, everything doesn't seems right to me. And my feeling tally. I may be too sensitive or whatever it is. I just don't feel right. Everything seems weird to me. *I'm not emo-ing or whatever* I just feel strange. It's very long since I have such strong sixth sense. And my sixth sense is leading me now. I'm following my heart and not my mind already.