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Pamela Lim
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 1:51 PM
Current mood: =I don't know why, but people seems forever unhappy with me.
I heard, it's all misunderstandings.
Then why not, just come and tell me about it instead?
Why make it seems like it's such a proud topic,
to let anyone and everyone knows about it?
Are you very proud to let other knows that we have internal problems?
I doubt so right.
I don't know if you guys gets to my blog.
Maybe you did, by the links from my friends.
But can't the few of you to come to me instead?
Instead of talking behind my back.
I know the few of you ain't baddies.
No harm talking infront of me.
What are you all afraid of?
5 is to 1. I'm standing alone.
You all are bonded together.
No worries, I don't hide a knife under.
If let's say, you all are unhappy with me, because for the whole of that week, i didn't join you all.
Then i'll apologise.
1st thing 1st, I didn't join you all for studies,
because, i jolly well knows that i can't study in big group.
And I'll end up distracting people.
2nd thing, I went off without waiting or talking to you all.
I just want to come home to sleep and rot.
And seeing the few of you, face black black.
Of cos i don't dare ask you how's your paper lar.
I'm not pushing the fault to you all, I just want you guys to know how i feel that few days.
3rd, me with Soma.
I know i used to gossip about her too.
But lately she had been better isn't it?
And I go class 1st, I only see her, so i just sit down next to her lor.
That day, I wanted to have lunch, she wanted to have dessert, so fine, we went together.
4th, I went off on Friday w/o a goodbye.
I've got to rush home to bathe and get prepared,
'cos i have a class gathering at east coast at 6pm.
That's y though i know it's the last paper, I didn't wait.
I hope you guys can spare a thought for me huh?
And i've become a changed person infront of you all.
Became so quiet and stuff.
But please bear this in mind.
After the other time, you all told me that i always pop-up no link topics.
I always think twice before i speak now.
And, I kept so quiet,
because, I know nuts about what you all talking about.
So i just shut up. Or else, i'll be poping-up no link topics again.
Haojie kept telling me it's all misunderstanding.
But no one voiced out anything.
You don't voice out you feelings, how would i know?
I don't live inside you, and knows all your feelings right.
Come on, speak up.
And yes, this morning misunderstood haojie.
Got abit harsh on him.
He 'played' with me.
I thought it was for real, i couldn't differentiate.
Because, I've already prepared everything and ready to leave.
But since it's still raining, I kept messaging him.
But there was no reply.
Till I'm quite pissed already, I decided not to go.
'cos afterall the ground would be wet.
I'm sorry, Haojie.
I'm really pissed off by this stuffs ehs.
I told haojie last night.
I don't want to care. I'm feeling so tired of it.
He kept telling me things like, they still treat u as friends and stuff.
And tell me it's just a minor misunderstand.
Oh my fucking god.
Why does it seems like, no one on earth, could spare a thought for me.
When I'm more or less letting go, people come and tell me these things.
Not as if I don't treat them as friends right.
I said before, still friends.
And i even told them,
in future, anything not happy with me, let me know.
But still, they're stabbing me at the back.
They'll have their chance to be in my shoes one day.