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Pamela Lim
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Tuesday, September 21, 2010, 6:12 PM
Shifted.pomelloismyname.livejournal.com
Monday, September 13, 2010, 10:45 PM
Spring Cleaning
Time to do some spring cleaning on this blog. It gets so dusty now!I think I'm sucha ass at work. He never do it wrong, just that it ain't our culture, but he gets fucked by me. But I was trying not to be hush with him. But he just piss me off. He wants to learn, but somehow, he's too blur. Like, he just concentrate on task on hand, he doesn't observe what people is doing around him. And he doesn't know how to plan himself, not even his working area, like clearing up etc.
I'm sorry, I know I'm pushy about it. I know how you felt, you gets pissed off, I know. Getting fucked for nothing. I've been through what you're going through, I very well know how you feel, but I believe, it'll come into help, I may not be as good as the rest, but at the very least, what I'm passing to you is my basic, the basics that we all should understand of working. Putting your heart into it, is the key to work.
Someone told me something that I've never realised all along. She told me that whenever I talks about someone/something I like, my facial expression is always filled with anticipation. I'm like 'oh really?'. I didn't knew that much. I didn't know I sounded and looked that happy, even though I'm grumbling about something that's bothering me. Sounds contradicting yea? I also don't know what I'm trying to get across though.
Till lately, feelings floating up again. Sometimes, when people says something about him, my mind starts thinking of him all over again. And it's back to one. It doesn't get off my mind! Like I don't know why! I thought I've gotten over, but apparently I think not, because when I was telling my friend about him just now, she told me: you have sucha different expression when you talk about this somebody. And I knew once she says this, it confirms what I'm feeling.
Well, so far, only one. I don't want to go further into it, I don't want to force the issue.
If meant to be, we'll be. That's all I could say to myself.
And I was trying to tell this friend of mine when we're at esplanade chilling. It's so difficult for me to open up to guy.
Gotta run, and sis getting my sub credit card. yay! I can enjoy discount now!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010, 10:27 PM
I so feel like quiting this fucking job. Not because it's tiring or what. But seriously, this place just ain't the place for me. I don't myself upgrading there. I feel really useless even working full time. Like, I'm of no use!Can I finish the bond, I'll go find other job, and I want to go overseas to study. I want to go probably le cordon bleu for a degree in culinary n pastry baking, or a advance diploma.
I'm not rushing to climb up a high position, what's the rush all about? I don't need to be of high rank. Now seriously what's in my mind is, I'll just work for the rest of my life. I wants to go overseas. I really wants to go overseas, to work, to study. There's too much foreigner in my country.
Can someone bring me to a better place?
Now I wish, I can be back to be working in the office.
Friday, August 27, 2010, 10:02 PM
Remembering the days back then, when we made the promise of staying together and leaving together. But till date, when he tells me that he wants to leave, I didn't have the thought of leaving together. I know I would leave one day, eventually, but just not now.For now that I'm working with people I used to enjoy working with, I'm really enjoying. There's jennifer, lau is back, zin maung is my gossip partner, luqman is my something wrong ahboy. What's more I need to ask for?
And in fact, yes, because he pursuaded me to stay. But when I work with him, I dislike it. He's no difference from Joshua though. And I seriously don't understand, he's a cook 2, I'm also a cook 2, why do he have to bark at me? When I'm just merely doing my work, whatever he barks at me, wasn't my responsibility?
The thought of me enjoying my work now, makes me think of staying slightly longer. Though I may not learn much, but seriously my mind's thinking 'why is there a need for me to be someone well known? Which isn't necessary in anyway. I just want to be someone, who makes a difference in others life. I don't want to be look up, or even kind of like worshipped type of person. I just want to be a normal person, to live, to work, to earn money, to love.' That's all I asked for.
After working with him, I kinda look down on him. Yes, he can do food, but he doesn't know how to organise his people. He can use food, but he doesn't know how to control his ingredients. He still could tell me, saying that he dislike paper work, he just wanna be a chef in a small restaurant. But if you can't even bloody organise your people, and talk to your people nicely, how could you be a chef in the first place?
Sigh.
I don't know what more to say. But it's like I'm just passing day for day. I just want the money.
Thursday, August 26, 2010, 9:27 PM
This is so badddd!!!!July, mp3 died on me. August, first time ever, I lost my phone. I was upset about mp3 as it was a gift I worked hard for during my O level. I am still upset over my lost phone, because all memories is in that phone. All the pictures and all the contacts of my beloved chef's is in that phone.
What more to come? I don't know.
Well, as for work. The other time Danny pulled me in. And as expected he'll leave me behind for sure. It's okay, I still have my shifu around. But just that I'll leave, just god knows when.
Now Lau is back in action with us.He's damn fun a person to be around. He used to be rather quiet. But I don't know what happened to him. Come back work with him 3 days only, bicker like mad.
Well, my life, we shall see again.
Monday, August 16, 2010, 1:28 AM
I don't know what's the fucking problem with me. Like seriously. Went work with a average mood. Then my mood slowly changed negatively. Till now, my mood went down the drain, mind's off. It seems just like I can't remember what I just did at work. I need a life. My life's so dead now. One thing is because I'm trying to save. The other is, others got their own life, just only me, I don't have one. Fml.I had so much in mind just now. But till I come to my blog, I don't know what to say.
I'm tired of having to double check every single thing before I leave. I'm tired of clearing shit for people. I'm tired of cleaning up when people mess them up. I'm tired of being the last one to leave the kitchen these days. I'm tired of having to photocopy those bloody shit papers just because people only use. I'm tired of talking things out, since nothing works. I'm tired of being played on just because I don't have the power to put on a challenge. I'm tired of being nobody.
It just happened that I got into a foul mood just now at work. And yes, I wish I could jump down from the 31st floor.
And can people just stop bringing my morale down for a moment and better off forever. I just wanna learn as much. Not just learning for skills, I'm just experiencing life. Just let me get down with it alright?
I don't know what the fuck I'm stress with apparently. I'm not really physically tired. I'm mentally tired.
I needa breathe.
Was chasing the bus just now, and I ran. Couldn't run much with sucha jeans that drops every 3 steps. But I tried running as much as I could, I never thought the pant it gave, was so good. I wished I had ran home instead.
I just want a shoulder to lie on, why is it so tough to get one? :'(
Saturday, August 14, 2010, 10:57 AM
There seems to be some confusion in my feelings, between work and personal life. Damn it! Why still go into it, when somehow I expect it would happen?!
Fml.